


Reasons Why

by ElsieMcClay



Series: Voltron Fics [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Langst, M/M, ill never be good at tags, shance, what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 16:22:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12634758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElsieMcClay/pseuds/ElsieMcClay
Summary: Lance doesn't like himself.  Shiro finds out.





	Reasons Why

**Author's Note:**

> Originally for societyslostone on Tumblr :)

Cryopods are supposed to reduce or even get rid of scarring. That is if the victim is put into one fast enough. After saving Coran from the explosion when the Galra invaded, Lance’s recovery was delayed. He had forced himself from a coma, which made everything worse, and the fact that the castle-ship was down after the invasion didn’t help, either. He hadn’t been put into the cryopod for long enough when everything started acting up, apparently, because he was still sore and the wounds hadn’t completely healed. To add to that, he was nearly sucked into space, which definitely did not help in his recovery. At this point, scarring was inevitable, but that didn’t mean Lance couldn’t pray that he would be good as new after a little while in the pods. 

Lance wasn’t so lucky. There were burn marks and long, thick lines running down his back and arms. A few even managed to appear on the front of his torso. The one he hated most, though, was the prominent burns on the back of his neck and collar bones. Like a scarf, they wrapped around his neck and strangled him. He could never breathe when he saw them in his reflection, so he started to avoid water and mirrors. Without the use of a mirror, Lance couldn’t take care of his skin like he had before the explosion. He couldn’t think of the ocean without having a panic attack because he knows he would see his reflection in the ocean’s surface. 

Lance thinks, no he knows, that the only thing he’s ever had going for him was his looks. He always viewed himself as pretty. He doesn’t care if some kid that sat in the very front of every single on of Lance’s classes thinks Lance is too feminine. He doesn’t care if that one girl that gossips too loudly in the halls thinks he’s gay. He doesn’t care that some teacher told the other teachers that he’s useless and to watch out for him because he’s a nuisance. He really, truly does not care. At least, that’s what he tells himself. 

The boy in all of his classes is right. He pampers himself way more than any of his sisters do. The girl in the hall might be right. Lance has had feelings for both boys and girls. The teacher might be right. Lance has never been very good at school. But he has his looks. No one has ever called him ugly. That’s the one thing he has going for him, and the stupid, ugly scars all over his body from that stupid explosion ruined even that for him. He still showers; he’s not an animal, but he cannot relax in the alien pool with Shiro anymore because he’ll freak out. Not even Shiro, his boyfriend, knows about how Lance feels about himself. 

It’s not like Lance wouldn’t save Coran (or anyone else in Coran’s position) if he had the chance to go back and change it because he still would save Coran. Heck, he would even save one of the foreign aliens had one been standing there instead of Coran. He just wishes he’d gotten into a pod sooner so he’d be able to actually look at himself.

Shiro was trying to clean Blue for Lance when he bumped into something. For a moment, he held his breath. He wanted to surprise Lance with a clean cockpit, so had asked Black to get Blue to swear to secrecy. He could not mess this up by accidentally hitting his elbow on something and set off some sort of alarm. Thankfully, it was not an alarm, so Shiro lets out a breath of relief, but a moment later, Lance’s voice fills the cockpit. Blue rumbles in distress like she hadn’t meant to show Shiro this. He can tell she’s trying her hardest to turn it off, but she was given a command from the control panel, and it was her duty to see it through. It was not her fault. If anyone’s, it was Shiro’s. 

The entries start off as boisterous and happy. They’re like Lance, which is to be expected since it is Lance. A stupid grin finds its way onto Shiro’s face as he listens to Lance explain his crush on Shiro to Blue, then how they got together. Shiro knows he shouldn’t be listening, but he wants to finish cleaning Blue, and she can’t turn it off, so he can’t help it. So, Shiro rubs down the sides of Blue as he listens to Lance’s diary, of sorts. Shiro knows about most of this already, anyway, but Lance’s voice is comforting to listen to. 

“Hey, Blue,” Lance starts. Shiro’s happy smile drops at the sound of his boyfriend’s sniffling. Recording-Lance lets out a sob, and Shiro nearly has to double over for the pain that grabs at his chest. Tears prick at his eyes as Lance explains how useless he feels. 

Shiro never cries. But hearing Lance, his happy, boisterous Lance, this…sad and broken is heartbreaking. Shiro stops his cleaning to listen to Lance. He can almost see Lance curled up in the pilot’s chair in the early hours of the morning, crying and desperate for someone to talk to. 

“All I’ve ever been good at is looking good, Blue,” Lance sobs, “but I can’t even do that anymore. The scars are so ugly on me. At least they make Shiro look hot, but I don’t—I can’t…ugh.” Another sob comes from the speaker, and Shiro breathes out the command for Blue to stop. 

He has to find Lance.

Shiro sprints down the hall to Lance’s room. Keith tries to stop him to talk on the way, but Lance is more pressing. Shiro tells himself to find Keith and apologize later. 

“Lance? Lance,” Shiro yells then breathes. Lance looks up from his place in the corner. His face is stained with tears, and there are dark craters beneath his dulled blue eyes. He has his knees drawn up to his chest and Shiro—Shiro cannot breathe. He slides to his knees in front of Lance. Lance’s eyes stay trained on a random spot on the floor.

“You found the recordings, didn’t you?” Shiro nods, and Lance laughs humorlessly. “I’m not mad, which if I know you, you think I am. I’m not.” Lance is right. Shiro was trying to think of a way to explain this without angering Lance. 

“You’re beautiful, Lance. You have so much more than your looks, too. You’re an amazing aim, you know how to keep the peace between the seven of us on the castle, you can calm me down after a nightmare, you take care of everyone like a mother. I can’t even name the rest of the reasons why I love you, Lance.”

“You…love me?” Lance sounds hesitant as he asks. It’s like he thinks Shiro is lying and he’s about to laugh in his face at any moment and yell ‘Ha! You wish!’. 

“I love you, Lance.” Lance uncurls himself from his little ball and crawls into Shiro’s lap.

“Love you too.” Sometimes, Lance will find notes with “Reason Why Lance is Perfect #–“ on the top of the paper around the castle. Lance knows he isn’t perfect, but he knows he’s worth more than just some pretty face that used to be called feminine and gay and a nuisance. Lance is loved, and that’s all he needs.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to follow my tumblr (elsiemcclay) incase i forget to post here because, knowing me, i probably will tbh


End file.
